When the lights out


 

I've been through an emotional roller coaster the past few months. I'm back to square one and more lost in life than I've ever been. Away from all the traveling, fashion and beauty. The glamour is gone, it's just me.  Away from all familiar routines. 

My heart skips a beat every time someone asks me what I want to do with my life, I panic because I don't know the answer. What's  gonna make me happy once the lights out, when everything is silent and i'm all alone. 

This situation has made me more vulnerable than I've ever felt before, I often feel very misunderstood. I guess I'm not the best at controlling my emotions in times like this.  

People expect answers and that we have it all figured out right away, when in fact we sometimes just need some time to rediscover ourselves.  Finding the right path doesn't always happen over night, there's no fairy godmother that comes to the rescue. 

A little cover I did last month


Love yourself no matter how different you feel, being unique is the key to life.

Making Life an Adventure



I'm on the hunt for who I've yet to become. I'm turning 25 in a couple of weeks and I find myself at a crossroads. 

 

I left the past behind. Too many things I'd like to forget. It might have left me a little broken, but I've decided to turn it around and use this opportunity to rebuild myself. 

 

I'm currently in Atlanta, Georgia, where I've spent most of my days (seriously, a lot of days) out in the wilderness. Hiking. I have to admit, I hated it more than anything at first. It's not something that I was used to, and the experience caught me off guard. However, as I kept pushing myself and getting stronger, I started to enjoy  it a lot.

 

It's been like a life detox. It has opened up a whole new world for me; a healthier and better one. It opened my eyes that in order to be happy, I have to be honest about what I want, what I need, and who I am. And for a second I had no answer when I asked myself that. It's so easy to put what we really want aside, because we're too busy making moves based on expectations. Expectations from others and not ourselves. Trying to impress others became a habit that left me with no fulfillment, no happiness. And at the end of the day you only have yourself to answer to.  So I decided to slowly change things in order to find the answers. The answers that fit me and only me.

 

Being out in the nature has been the first step in purifying my mind. I feel happier than I've been in a long time, so I've decided to keep on being active and document it along the way. 

So this is just a little intro to what this blog will bring in the future. I want to show and write about the adventures, the views, the stories, that I now get to experience.

Last year was magical

























 

The real life of a model , Part 1



 

 

Jeg har opplevd utrolig mye de siste årene, jeg sitter igjen med så utrolig mange historier. Både gode og vonde, å nå har jeg tenkt til å dele en av mange historier som kommer framover.

I 2013 ble jeg invitert i bursdag i LA til en av verdens største fashion fotografer, jeg var ofte invitert på slike ting men denne gangen var det ekstra spennede pga det var en mulighet for meg å bli sett. Da jeg ankom festen så jeg bare  kjente fjes uansett hvor jeg lettet blikket.

Jeg koste meg lenge å ene vennen min introduserte meg til flere, men til slutt skulle han introdusere meg til den viktigste personen der, personen som hadde makten til å snu karrieren min rundt. Han lettet blikket å smilte mens han tok tak i handen min for å introdusere seg selv. Vi satte å snakket lenge sammen. Han var veldig interessert i å ta bilder av meg å ville ha kontakt informasjonen min så han kunne fotografere meg før han skulle reise videre til New York. Jeg var helt i skyene.

Mindre enn 15 minutter senere begynte jeg å føle meg ganske så rar, hele hodet mitt var tungt å jeg klarte ikke å feste blikket. Jeg prøvde å reise meg opp men klarte knapt å bevege på beina, jeg fikk helt panikk å hadde ingen kontroll over min egen kropp.

Jeg klarte til slutt å komme meg unna folke mengden å klarte å få kontakt med en venn som kunne komme å hente meg, eneste jeg husker fra de siste minuttene var at jeg klamret meg til en trapp i mørket mens jeg ventet livredd, jeg gikk inn og ut av bevissthet, jeg følte at jeg kjempet imot min egen kropp for å holde meg våken, men til slutt ble alt svart.

Neste morgen våknet jeg på sofaen til en venn av meg, med ett svakt minne av kvelden før. Jeg innså ganske fort at jeg hadde blitt dopet ned, jeg så over på mobilen min hvor det var flere upassende meldinger fra fotografen, han hadde lyst at jeg skulle komme å "besøke" han på hotell rommet hans, han ville ikke at jeg skulle komme for å bli fotografert for å si det sånn.

Mange tror å være  modell er en enkel jobb, men vi møter så utrolig mye ubehageligheter og utfordringer på veien, min historie en bare en av mange. Å ikke skulle kunne føle seg trygg, men likevell må vi stole på ukjente pga det er bare slik modellyrket er. Man jobber med fremmede hele tiden, så vi har rett og slett ikke noe annet valg enn å være forsiktig. 

 

 

 

 

Face your life, it's pain, it's pleasure, leave no path untaken.



Det er ingenting som kan fullstendig forberede en person for alle utfordringer man møter i livet, det er slett ingen dans på roser, det er ingenting som tilsvarer det perfekte liv, noe man fort forstår tidlig i 20 årene. Man står ovenfor mange valg, man har utfordringer uansett hva man gjør, man tar ting kanskje litt for seriøst og stresser over mindre ting som ikke er verdt å slite seg ut for, noe som kanskje er min største utfordring. Alt skal se så perfekt ut fra utsiden mens man virkelig har det vanskelig på innsiden. Vi lever i ett samfunn hvor alt skal være bra, vi skale smile å være glad selv om man har det vondt, alt skal være en stor fasade. 

Det er på tide av vi tar valg basert på vår egen lykke, ikke for å imponere andre. På slutten av dagen er det kun deg selv, vi kom alle inn til denne verden uten noe som helst og vi kommer også til å forlate den på samme måte.  

Pictures from my hike the other day!









 

Ny Start



I slutten av 2015 kjente jeg at jeg begynte å bli veldig sliten av å leve på den måten jeg gjorde, jeg hadde nådd ett helt nytt nivå av dårlig selvtillit å jeg dømte meg selv på alle mulige måter, studerte urealistiske bilder av en ukjent jente som visste seg å være meg selv.  Jeg bestemte meg for å reise tilbake til Norge å prøve å finne ut av hva jeg vil gjøre videre, noe som viste seg å gjøre meg mer forvirret enn noen gang. Eneste jeg tenkte var : hvem er jeg, hva er jeg flink til, hva vil jeg bli, noe som jeg ikke har alle svar på for å være helt ærlig. Å ikke vite hva man skal gjøre videre, den følelsen av å mislykkes som menneske å ikke leve opp til forventningene samfunnet har til oss unge i dag.  Jeg kommer til å skrive litt framover om tanker og valg framover. Forhåpentligvis finner jeg en vei videre om ikke alt for lenge!

It's starting to look alot like christmas





My 5 favorite songs right now !













18.11.2015







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18.11.2015



18.11.2015



Late night jam recorded

My first cover



Just watched If I Stay  yesterday and this song got stuck in my head so i decided to make a little cover of it today. Hope you like it !

 #musikk #ifIstay #cover #sang #soundtrack

The First Step Is Always The Hardest

I left home when I was 18. And not your typical "I moved out of my parent's house, but I still live pretty close." I moved to India. And many other countries soon after that. See at this point I had begun my modeling career... and it proved to be and incredibly competitive industry. An industry that I wasn't ready for at the time. 

I was on my own and I had to grow up very quickly and pick things up along the road. And many times, the hard way. From little things like not speaking a country's language to being hospitalized and lost in less than desirable locations. Not to mention there were a lot of people that tried to take advantage of me. That assumed a young, blonde girl from another country would be naive and easy to fool. Those first few years weren't easy. Like I mentioned before, I wasn't home anymore. I didn't have my family nearby to rescue or comfort me. And so I had to learn to stand up for myself, to recognize my self-worth, and to continue reminding myself that I could succeed if i remained determined and focused. And most importantly, to continue believing in myself. 

Sacrifices are inevitable when you pursue your dreams. Distractions, obstacles, people, anything, and everything can get in the way. However, if you want something badly enough, then it's worth it. You'll get to look back knowing that you did what you had to do, to truly be happy. 

#blogg #karriere #modell #fashion #mote #hverdag 

Double Standards



Am I model? Yes. Am I skinny? Yes. Am I sick or unhealthy? Nope.

 

Everyone knows that heavyset people get picked on for their weight, made fun of, and most disheartening of all, make them feel shame. But they're not the only ones.

 

 I spent most of my childhood being criticized for my smaller body frame; I was accused of eating disorders and mental issues. And the worst part? Not only kids my age but adults as well. What nobody seemed to understand was that I was perfectly fine. I ate like everyone else (and by that I mean I ate home cooked meals, fast food, candy, you name it). I was a kid being a kid. But that didn't stop people from making me feel bad and pushing me to see that the way I looked was wrong. But there was nothing wrong with me. What was wrong was their view and their ignorance to not accept that i looked the way I did simply because that's how my body was. 

 

"You should eat more" or "you should keep your meals down" are a few of the things I've been told more than I care to admit. And it's this kind of psychological bullying that leads to body image issues and eating disorders and not the other way around. But sadly there's still a double standard where attacking someone for being overweight is wrong but doing the same to someone on the opposite side of the scale is normal. Even overlooked as not a big deal.

 

Most of the models I know are naturally skinny. They eat healthy, they exercise and maintain a good lifestyle. We shouldn't have to feel like it's a sin to be skinny. Which is something that I've had to defend myself against for a long time. From others and from myself because it takes a lot of willpower to stand up to a crowd that wants to create flaws with what they see in you. Or on you. 

 

It's time for people to accept each other for who they are. There's no perfect body, no perfect person mold we have to fit into. We're all unique and that's what makes us special.

 

#kropp #helse #blogg #modell #søndag #mat #vekt 

It's Story Time

                             


I haven't written much on this blog before, but I've decided to make a change. I got into the habit of only uploading pictures, of hiding behind them and not letting anyone know how i felt...Maybe even keeping that from myself. 

 

Throughout my modeling career I've gotten to travel, see, experience, and learn so much, that I now know how lucky I am. Unfortunately, sometimes it's hard to realize how good we have it till the moment is over and you're looking back wishing you appreciated it more. However, I guess that's what makes this journey so interesting; we never stop learning. 

 

From getting lost at 4am in the middle of Singapore while looking for pancakes to walking down the runway with food poisoning on New Year's Eve in China, I can't say I regret much when it comes to the choices I've made. Not to say there haven't been mistakes in the past, those are inevitable haha, but the bigger picture is good. All of those little moments, memories, relationships, make us who we are today and it will continue being that way as long as we keep our heads up an feet moving.

 

But for now, I'll spend tonight with Netflix on the TV and pizza by my side. 

 



#reise #mote #fashion #blogg #hverdag #foto

 

 

Being young and having to deal with a lot of expectations

                                 



We live in a society where people wake up every morning to post on social media about how ''great'' their lives are. We are all under pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations, we're supposed to look a certain way and live our lives a certain way. Dealing with depression or anxiety is taboo because apparently the only feeling we're supposed to feel is happiness. We're expected to go to college, get a great job, buy a house, start a family and live happily ever after.

My story is a little different. I left my home country (Norway, for those of you that don't know) when I turned 18. Dropped out of high school, packed my bags and left. I had no idea what to expect, but I knew i owed it to myself to not make a life decision based on one perspective. I needed to know what other opportunities were out there for me. I might have stumbled and backtracked once in a while, but that's ok. We all make mistakes and mess up; nothing is ever perfect, but that's the beauty of life. 

I'm so thankful for all I've been able to do so far in my life. It hasn't been easy, and at times I've second-guessed myself, but I'm determined to continue moving forward pursuing what makes me happy. No one has the right answer about how to live life the right way. You just gotta live it your way.

                               

 

#blogg #hverdag #mote #fredag #foto


                                 

 

 

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Les mer i arkivet » Oktober 2016 » Juli 2016 » Mars 2016
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